Becoming a parent is undoubtedly a life-changing experience that brings joy, challenges, and a rollercoaster of emotions.
As a new parent, you'll learn a lot on the job, and no doubt there will be one or two things that you wish you had done differently but there is no way to perfectly prepare yourself for welcoming a new baby into your home for the first time. Every parent will have a unique experience and what can help is hearing from those who have been there before.
There are a few key things I wish I had known before diving into the world of parenthood. If you're about to embark on this incredible journey, here are my nine pieces of advice that will hopefully make your transition into parenthood a bit smoother.
- Parenting can be lonely without the support of others. Before having my baby I had not appreciated how lonely parenting can be if you don't have friends and family around to provide support when needed. You may be someone like myself who has gone from working a full time, busy job to being a full time stay at home mum or dad which is a huge change in lifestyle. I made the effort to join parent groups and attend exercise and baby classes with other parents who were going through a similar phase of life as me. This was incredibly important for my happiness and wellbeing as it gave me a routine and helped me to make some great friends. Other parents will be able to offer tips and advice that may or may not be helpful for you and your baby but the key thing is that you have someone you can ask for help when you need. Asking for help doesn't mean you're not capable or strong enough. Parenthood can be overwhelming, and there's no shame in seeking guidance or support. Getting assistance from others can provide you with new perspectives and valuable insights.
- Breastfeeding can be hard. I had not appreciated how difficult the breastfeeding process can be in the very early stages for both you and your baby. Learning how your baby correctly latches on to the breast is very important for your baby to efficiently retrieve milk while also telling your body to build and maintain your milk supply. Due to incorrect latching, my nipples became incredibly sore and cracked resulting in bleeding. Some women may find using nipple shields works for them and their baby, by providing the nipple with some relief from the direct sucking. I allowed my nipples to have a break by using a breast pump for every alternate feed. We were then able to introduce our baby to a bottle which has been very helpful down the track.
- The newborn stage seems long but is over in a flash. I cannot emphasise enough how quickly the first couple of months go by. While it may seem that every day and every night is incredibly long in the early few weeks, before you know it you will have a toddler running around your home. In the truly challenging moments of the newborn phase, keep reminding yourself that it will be over very soon.
- Night sweats and hair loss are a thing! After delivering your baby, your body will go through a dramatic drop in hormones which can cause you to experience intense night sweats. Sometimes they can be so bad you need to change your pajamas and bed sheets during the night. I also had not appreciated how intensely I would lose my hair after having my baby. There is not much that can be done to avoid it and, as with the night sweats, you just have to be patient and wait until it stops.
- Sleep is Precious, Prioritize It: Before having a baby, everyone warns you about the sleepless nights, but it's hard to truly comprehend the impact until you're in the thick of it. Sleep deprivation can affect your physical and mental health, as well as your ability to enjoy those precious early moments with your little one. So, create a support system that allows you to catch some rest when you can. Whether it's taking turns with your partner, enlisting the help of family and friends, or hiring a babysitter occasionally, prioritizing sleep can make a world of difference. I also made sure to grab a nap during the day when my baby was napping. These short naps can be crucial to ensuring you survive these early few days.
- Make your bed and have a shower every morning. This small piece of advice is something that was very important to me in the early stages of parenthood. While it might sound trivial, making my bed immediately after jumping out of it, followed by having a shower and getting dressed for my day, gave me a sense of calmness and sanity. Even if the rest of my day ended up disorderly and unorganised, I began the day feeling fresh, organised and ready to face the day. It gave me a sense of accomplishment, having completed a couple of tasks that I was unlikely to get time for later in the day. Another great part about it is you get to jump into a neatly made bed at the end of a long and tiring day.
- Flexibility is Key: Parenting comes with unexpected twists and turns. No matter how much you plan and prepare, things might not go exactly as you envisioned. Babies have their own timelines and preferences, and being flexible and adaptable can help you navigate the challenges more smoothly. Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, so be open to trying different strategies and adjusting your expectations along the way.
- Self-Care is Not Selfish: It's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of baby care and forget about your own needs. But taking care of yourself is crucial for both you and your baby. Prioritize self-care without guilt. Whether it's a relaxing bath, a quick workout, or just a few minutes to enjoy a cup of tea, finding moments for yourself will help you recharge and be a better parent in the long run.
- Every Baby is Different: Listening to advice from friends, family, and experts is valuable, but remember that every baby is unique. What works for one child might not work for another. Don't get discouraged if a method that worked for someone else doesn't work for you. Trust your instincts and take the time to learn your baby's cues and preferences. You're the expert on your child.
The journey into parenthood is a beautiful and transformative one. While there's no definitive manual for raising a child, these nine insights will hopefully help you approach the experience with more confidence and resilience. Embrace the challenges, cherish the moments, and remember that every day is a new opportunity to learn and grow, both as a parent and as an individual.